Marriage and Family: Facilitating The Integration
When was the last time you called your siblings’ spouse to check up on them? Mine was days ago.
You may want to know why I started off on that note. It’s because some of us alienate our siblings’ spouse. How you may ask?
You call your sibling and talk with him for minutes and tell him take care. You never bother to ask after his spouse. At best you say greet your spouse and hang up. At some point it could really be hurting when you know his/her spouse maybe close by especially during weekends, holidays or at the close of the day’s event and you just hang up like that. This ought not to be.
I’d like to quickly state that, I am not saying you should speak with your sibling’s spouse each time you place a call. A balance should be sought though.
As occasion serves me, I call my brothers/sisters in-law and gist with them. Sometimes, I deliberately call them when I know my sibling will not be around. There’s this sudden pop of joy when my brother/sister gets back and his/her spouse echoes your brother called me today. More so, it makes them feel welcome and accepted in the family.
In some cases, there’s this blunt attitude of he is my brother/sister some of us exhibit making our siblings’ spouse feel that (s)he is a stranger and probably not wanted. Neither do you have anything to do with him/her.
I take into account that some of our siblings may have married in contrast to popular opinion in the family. For this, we stay in touch with our sibling and alienate his/her spouse. Sebi blood is thicker than water, honestly this should not be.
I sincerely look forward to have a good relationship with my wife’s siblings and parents vice versa. One way to make this happen is to begin building this connection from the onset of my relationship. How do I mean?
When you know for certain that you and your significant other are certain to pull through, kindly start incorporating her/him into your family circle. If you don’t do this at this stage with wisdom and circumspection, hardly will you have it in place after marriage.
The long and short of the picture I am trying to paint is Marriage is for FAMILY EXPANSION and INTEGRATION. Change the tide today. Call your siblings’ spouse.